I was having coffee with a friend yesterday when the topic arose of living with ambiguity. He said that a natural tendency of mankind is to want to know the whys of life, and when they can’t find the answers, they make them up.
early primitive tribes wanted to know why terrible storms of thunder and lightning rolled over them in the summer months. Not knowing the climatic reasons, they made up a story that the gods were angry with them for some reason and were punishing them.
What are the whys of depression? When people can’t find the answers, they make them up: “I’m a failure in life, I’m not good enough, God is angry with me for what I did, I don’t deserve any better, the abuse in my childhood brought this on,” and so it goes.
So what to do? The first thing is to accept the universe. I read about a person whose life was dramatically changed when he stopped feeling sorry for himself and being terribly upset when things didn’t go his way, and simply learned to accept the universe. It is what it is. You are living in the USA not Darfur (a good thing). You have depression and others don’t (you are a unique person).
It is valuable to go back to some events or conditions in your life that may have caused or set the foundation for your depression and receive inner healing right there – learning the lies planted in you at that time and replacing them with truth. My brother practices inner healing as a psychotherapist and I as a coach to those who are depressed.
But to ask why you were born across the railroad tracks on the north side of town instead of the nice side of town with nice parents will get you nothing but misery. You’ll never understand it, so best to leave it as a divine mystery. Accept the universe you live in and the life that has been given to you and trust that God has the big picture in mind.
Early Christianity accepted the mysteries of God in the world He created. Now many churches want to explain everything. Ministers don’t seem to want to say, “That’s a divine mystery,” when they are asked questions. Alas.
But you can tell yourself, “I don’t need all the answers. I accept depression and all the circumstances that brought it about – and go on with your life, living as a triumphant child of God and not as a victim. And how do you do that? By the healing of body, soul, and spirit; the old three-legged stool. It has worked for me and it has worked for those I coach.
I’m not talking about pulling yourselves up by your bootstraps (Oh, how I hate anything that sounds like that). I’m talking about putting yourself in a position to accept help, and letting the healing come…in all its mysterious ways.